The lengths we go.

How far would you go for your hungry 6 month old while you're stuck in traffic going 10-15 mph?

Would you ask your friend to drive so you can hop in the back seat to care for your baby?
I did.

Would you sit in the back seat, lean forward, pull your boob out, and nurse your baby while she was buckled into her car seat?
I did.

What the hell is my problem?? This child is taking me to new extremes. She's so mean sometimes and she owes me A LOT for what I do for her.

School is bad for my appearance.

After my first week of college since 2009, I'm wondering what the hell I did to myself?? Did I need to pursue my degree now?!?!

I felt the need to order Proactiv because the acne on my face makes me feel like I'm going through puberty all over again and I only have 4 nails left. I haven't bitten my nails since I was a teenager.

*sigh*

I have GOT to get myself together. This is getting out of control.

How ready are you for your next vacation??

Rewind to December 20, 2012: We went to Wisconsin to visit Hans' family for the holidays. We were gone about 2 weeks and got home on January 4th(ish). 

Since I had so much unpacking to do when we got home between me, Hans, and Tenley, I asked Madi and Colt to unpack their own suitcases. I didn't think it was too difficult, they could handle it for sure.

Fast forward to today: I go into Colt's room to help organize it. As I pick up the suitcase to put at the top of his closet, I realize how heavy it is and open it up.

Me: Colt, you never unpacked?!?!

Colt: No. 

Me: Why? I asked you to.

Colt: Because I want to use that stuff for the next trip to Grandma's.

Hmmm. I guess that's one way to be prepared for a vacation that you're not sure when you're taking. 

Eating Out.

You know that feeling you get that you're being stared at and not wanted around kid free people as you're being seated at a restaurant?

I've gotta be honest, Hans and I could care less about those people. We have always received compliments on how well-behaved Madi and Colt are in restaurants. Seriously though. ALWAYS. Since they were babies. It makes us proud every time. So the stares and eye rolling have never bothered us because we know by the end of the night, they'll forget we even had kids.

And tonight...the years of compliments went right down the drain. They meant nothing. I'm pretty sure that e.v.e.r.y person, even the ones WITH kids, didn't want us in the restaurant. Tenley is SO LOUD!  Even when she just goo-ing and ga-ing. SHE'S LOUD! And she throws things. Everything that she can reach! Anytime that we noticed something was put in arm's length of her, we jumped to take it from her.

I fed her while Hans ate his dinner. When he was done, he walked her around so I could finish my dinner.

Never again. *sigh*

And I'm not kidding, I don't think we will be taking her any place but Chuck E. Cheese. She's so bad.

Boobie Beanies??????

Okay. I am ALL FOR breastfeeding, but really? 

I could not put this on my baby's head with a serious face.

Colt's Questionnaire

The worst part about moving every few years is that all of the good habits that I've established for the family are easily lost. It takes me quite a bit of time to get a good routine down again. 

So needless to say, it's taken me a little over a year to find a new dentist for the kids and get back into our habit of 6 month check-ups. 

We're in the dentist office and the Receptionist gives me A TON of paperwork to fill out. I'm already feeling overwhelmed with the fussy baby, the overflowing diaper bag, the 25 thousand Q&A forms, then Madi and Colt start arguing. After 4 or 5 times of me making threats through clenched teeth, I realize that I'm not  getting anywhere. 

Me: Colt, come over here and help me answer these questions. (Colt comes skipping over and plops down next to me.) You ready?

Colt: Yup!

Me: What's your name?

Colt: Colton

Me: When's your birthday?

Colt: Tomorrow.

Me: No...really. When's your birthday?

Colt: I don't remember.

Me: Seriously? You know you're birthday. Take a second to think about it.

Colt: Ugh...MOM! That was SOOO long ago! How am I supposed to remember the day I was born??!

How do I argue with that? I guess it makes sense. 

The next time Hans reminds me of the year I missed his birthday and our anniversary, I'll see if Colt's excuse works for an adult. 

 

Vent Session.

You know what irritates me? When you've got a diaper bag on one shoulder, a baby sitting on the opposite hip, 2 kids walking next to you while you're opening the door to the Target bathroom and someone stops you to say, "Looks like you have your hands full."

Bite me!

OF COURSE it looks like I have my hands full! I only have 2 of them after all! If I had 7 arms, this would look easy. Let's see what YOU look like doing everything that I do.

I wish people would stop saying that and making it sound like they wanna say, "Looks like you have zero control over your life right now."

I feel bad for the next person that says that to me.