The Capital D

Madi was just writing a letter to a friend of hers and she says to me: You know what a capital D makes me think of?

Me: What?

Madi: You when you got pregnant. No offense or anything. 

I guess none taken. At least she didn't say a capital D reminds her of me now. 

BURN!!

I picked the kids up from school today and we all pile into the car. Right away it's arguing, me asking them to stop, snatching, me LOUDLY asking them to stop, screaming, me screaming for them to stop, then my LEAST favorite...name calling! 

It's no surprise that I lost it.

Me: AAHHH!!! You guys are driving me NUTS! Stop it! STOP!! You are kind and smart and you're saying the smost stupidest things!

Madi: Smost?

Colt: (whispering to Madi) Did Mom call us stupid?

Madi: She said smost. I'm not sure what she means. Mom, what is smost?

Colt: So we're smost?

Me: Stop! I meant most.

Colt: So we're the most stupid?

Me: No, that's not what I said.

Madi: You said smost and that didn't make sense.

How did this conversation go from me doing the lecturing to me being lectured. Today has turned into a fail.

I'm not a cook.

Colt: Mom, when I get married, me and my girlfriend are gonna live with you.
Me: You really think so?
Colt: Yeah. And we're gonna have 3, maybe 2, or 1 kid. I'll let her pick.
Me: Hmm. Okay. Do you think that maybe you and your wife can build your own house? You can live next door to us.
Colt: Yeah. But what will I do for dinner?
Me: Ummm. Well, you guys can always come over. But you just have to go to your house when dinner is done.
Colt: Well, I'll make the dinner.
Me: You're coming to my house though, so I'll make it.
Colt: I just don't want you to burn dinner.

I'm clearly not doing a very good job being a stay at homer. FML.

Coffee Cup DIY

Have you seen this idea on Pinterest for drawing on coffee mugs? I have. AND I LOVE IT!

At this year's Galentine's Day (which you can read more about over at Visibly Moved ), me and the Gals decided to try it and make gifts for the husbands.

They each turned out great and Hans loved his. But after the first time that we hand washed the cup, the mustache that I drew was partially rubbed off.

So today I decided to take another go at it. Here is what I used:

I bought my coffee cup from the dollar store. Who doesn't have a Sharpie lying around? And I used a bread loaf pan for baking the cup in.

I touched up the areas on the mug that were rubbed off from washing. Set it in the pan and baked it at 450 for 30 minutes. Well...closer to 45 minutes because Tenley fell asleep on my chest and I didn't have the heart to move. 

Here's how the cup came out. I didn't re-do the entire mustache and I think that's why it came out really uneven. 

So I retraced and colored in the entire mustache. Put it back in the oven at 450 for 20 minutes.

Here's how he turned out. LOVE HIM!

I gave it time to cool down, cleaned it, and the marker hasn't rubbed off. So I'm putting this one down as a win. 

No Valentine for me.

Hans told me our very first Valentine's Day together, that he doesn't believe in Valentine's Day.

I thought he was stupid and we wouldn't last much longer.

But after nearly 10 years with him, I'm okay with the idea. Honestly, he spoils me every other day of the year, so if he wants February 14th off, I'm okay with that. Everything is overpriced that day anyhow.

As I walked up to my front door this evening after errands, I realized there was a 1-800-Flowers box at my front door. They were G.O.R.G.E.O.U.S red roses and calla lilies with a note that said, "Happy day before Valentine's Day."

He's great at making me smile.

The lengths we go.

How far would you go for your hungry 6 month old while you're stuck in traffic going 10-15 mph?

Would you ask your friend to drive so you can hop in the back seat to care for your baby?
I did.

Would you sit in the back seat, lean forward, pull your boob out, and nurse your baby while she was buckled into her car seat?
I did.

What the hell is my problem?? This child is taking me to new extremes. She's so mean sometimes and she owes me A LOT for what I do for her.

School is bad for my appearance.

After my first week of college since 2009, I'm wondering what the hell I did to myself?? Did I need to pursue my degree now?!?!

I felt the need to order Proactiv because the acne on my face makes me feel like I'm going through puberty all over again and I only have 4 nails left. I haven't bitten my nails since I was a teenager.

*sigh*

I have GOT to get myself together. This is getting out of control.

How ready are you for your next vacation??

Rewind to December 20, 2012: We went to Wisconsin to visit Hans' family for the holidays. We were gone about 2 weeks and got home on January 4th(ish). 

Since I had so much unpacking to do when we got home between me, Hans, and Tenley, I asked Madi and Colt to unpack their own suitcases. I didn't think it was too difficult, they could handle it for sure.

Fast forward to today: I go into Colt's room to help organize it. As I pick up the suitcase to put at the top of his closet, I realize how heavy it is and open it up.

Me: Colt, you never unpacked?!?!

Colt: No. 

Me: Why? I asked you to.

Colt: Because I want to use that stuff for the next trip to Grandma's.

Hmmm. I guess that's one way to be prepared for a vacation that you're not sure when you're taking. 

Eating Out.

You know that feeling you get that you're being stared at and not wanted around kid free people as you're being seated at a restaurant?

I've gotta be honest, Hans and I could care less about those people. We have always received compliments on how well-behaved Madi and Colt are in restaurants. Seriously though. ALWAYS. Since they were babies. It makes us proud every time. So the stares and eye rolling have never bothered us because we know by the end of the night, they'll forget we even had kids.

And tonight...the years of compliments went right down the drain. They meant nothing. I'm pretty sure that e.v.e.r.y person, even the ones WITH kids, didn't want us in the restaurant. Tenley is SO LOUD!  Even when she just goo-ing and ga-ing. SHE'S LOUD! And she throws things. Everything that she can reach! Anytime that we noticed something was put in arm's length of her, we jumped to take it from her.

I fed her while Hans ate his dinner. When he was done, he walked her around so I could finish my dinner.

Never again. *sigh*

And I'm not kidding, I don't think we will be taking her any place but Chuck E. Cheese. She's so bad.

Boobie Beanies??????

Okay. I am ALL FOR breastfeeding, but really? 

I could not put this on my baby's head with a serious face.

Colt's Questionnaire

The worst part about moving every few years is that all of the good habits that I've established for the family are easily lost. It takes me quite a bit of time to get a good routine down again. 

So needless to say, it's taken me a little over a year to find a new dentist for the kids and get back into our habit of 6 month check-ups. 

We're in the dentist office and the Receptionist gives me A TON of paperwork to fill out. I'm already feeling overwhelmed with the fussy baby, the overflowing diaper bag, the 25 thousand Q&A forms, then Madi and Colt start arguing. After 4 or 5 times of me making threats through clenched teeth, I realize that I'm not  getting anywhere. 

Me: Colt, come over here and help me answer these questions. (Colt comes skipping over and plops down next to me.) You ready?

Colt: Yup!

Me: What's your name?

Colt: Colton

Me: When's your birthday?

Colt: Tomorrow.

Me: No...really. When's your birthday?

Colt: I don't remember.

Me: Seriously? You know you're birthday. Take a second to think about it.

Colt: Ugh...MOM! That was SOOO long ago! How am I supposed to remember the day I was born??!

How do I argue with that? I guess it makes sense. 

The next time Hans reminds me of the year I missed his birthday and our anniversary, I'll see if Colt's excuse works for an adult. 

 

Vent Session.

You know what irritates me? When you've got a diaper bag on one shoulder, a baby sitting on the opposite hip, 2 kids walking next to you while you're opening the door to the Target bathroom and someone stops you to say, "Looks like you have your hands full."

Bite me!

OF COURSE it looks like I have my hands full! I only have 2 of them after all! If I had 7 arms, this would look easy. Let's see what YOU look like doing everything that I do.

I wish people would stop saying that and making it sound like they wanna say, "Looks like you have zero control over your life right now."

I feel bad for the next person that says that to me.